The White Unicorn

This post shares some similarities to a Jon Gilson article written a while back. In it, he refers to one of his clients as "a white unicorn, completely untouched by the evils of the world." The client in question had never heard of a leg press machine or a pec-deck or any of that other malarkey. CrossFit was the guy's first fitness endeavor and at age 32 that's pretty remarkable.

I met my own white unicorn less than a month ago. Her name is Sai and yes, that name is totally badass, too. Sai's story isn't as drastic as the one Gilson tells and I won't riddle it with flowery language and wannabe-Shakespearean prose. Basically, she joined Balance and had three intro sessions available to her. She wanted to work on the Olympic lifts (the snatch specifically) and was referred to me. Sai had performed the clean, but had little experience snatching. On her first day, after only 45 minutes of work, this was the result...

Now, this isn't some post to make me look awesome (far too late for that), but it perfectly demonstrates why it's important to learn good technique before developing bad habits. Sai was "untouched by the evils" of poor form. And while she's already equipped with good mobility and body control, I'm now on a quest to make her an Olympic lifter (it has so far been unsuccessful). The point remains: with the Olympic lifts, get your technique in order first. Take your ego out of the picture before putting too much weight on the bar. Some of us will have to struggle through correcting bad habits and form errors, but it will pay dividends in the end. Unfortunately, we're not all as lucky as Sai...

Get Inspired

Stuck, stalled, or stagnating? Fret not, it happens to the best of us. Sometimes people find themselves at a loss for motivation, especially now that the weather has gotten more frigid than the Cold Miser's buttcrack. Firstly, I highly recommend Vitamin D3 to combat that seasonal depression, but in terms of stalling on your lifts, go to YouTube.

I'll concede that for every good YouTube video there's about 346 awful ones, but that's what Tosh.O is for. Regardless, the good stuff on there is gold and rife with inspiration to help you break through your plateaus. How about some anecdotal evidence?

Personally, as much as I love squatting, I've had trouble making any significant improvements in it. I maxed at 306lbs a little while back and then got bitch-slapped by 315lbs a week later. Then one day at work rather than actually doing work because that would be stupid, I saw this video...

"I have a question though. What's going on with Hulk Hogan's hair? It's blonde and yet it's silken like that of a Chinese man."

That's Jared Fleming. He's 19 or so, lifts in the 94kg class, and just back squatted 462lbs for 10 goddamn reps. This video made me want to squat. A lot. A lot more than I've been squatting. That night, I back squatted 307lbs for two reps. Obviously, this is still a weaksauce squat, but it was a big PR at the time. And I think strong-ass Jared Fleming and his flaxen locks played a part in that.

This can work for nearly everything. Just like the Waterboy, you have to visualize and attack. Taking on Fran? Watch Rhabdo annihilate her...

Heavy back squats coming up? Check out what Mike Tuscherer is doing in his garage...

Going for a 1RM snatch? Take some cues from Jon North...

Just treat the barbell with a little more respect please.

The point I'm trying to make is that there are people out there doing amazingly strong and badass things and we should be using it to help make ourselves better. Simply put: if not a single one of the above videos pumps you up, you need to take up rollerblading or something.

Footwear: Elaborated

I want to delve a little deeper into the footwear topic I touched on here. I mentioned how modern shoes pretty much suck, disrupt your natural running stride, and are likely doing more harm than good. Now, this doesn't mean you should denounce all worldly possessions and go all Lord of the Flies about it...

That escalated quickly.

Nevertheless, here is a brief guide to footwear choices, depending on the workout...

Chucks: Everything

The classic Chuck Taylors are very versatile, cost-effective, and damn stylish. Chucks are excellent for the powerlifts (squat, deadlift, press) and acceptable for the Olympic lifts (snatch, clean, jerk). The lack of arch support will help build stronger feet, but I recommend easing into these badboys. In other words, doing a 100-rep box jump workout having never worn Chucks could result in an injury, shin splits, or possibly plantar fasciitis. Personally, I prefer the low-tops because the world must bask in the glory of my ankles.

Inov8 / Nike Free: Everything (I think)

I actually have no personal experience with either of these brands, but I've heard nothing but good things. The goal/effect is similar to barefoot training, but there's more interior padding so it'll make for a better transition from those shitty Nike Shox to stronger feet. They're both extremely light weight, pretty cool looking, and will certainly be better than whatever the hell these are.

Oly Shoes: The Lifts & Some Low Impact Metcons

Weightlifting shoes are obviously preferred for the snatch and the clean & jerk, but they're also excellent for back squats, front squats, overhead squats, shoulder presses, push presses, Bulgarian split squats, and so on. Note: I prefer people deadlift barefoot or without an elevated heel. The strap/s on the front will stabilize your foot laterally inside the shoe, while the elevated heel will help keep one's torso more erect, especially during squats. The resulting feeling is that you're seemingly cemented into the ground i.e. stable as shit. Everyone I've recommended Oly shoes to has experienced positive results almost immediately. Generally speaking, weightlifting shoes shouldn't be worn for metcons, but it depends on the metcon in question. I will get more into this later.

Vibrams / Barefoot: Power Lifts & Lower Impact Metcons

Despite looking semi-ridiculous, Vibrams are actually excellent for your foot health. The will help strengthen your arches and improve your running patterns, which will both result in less long-term injuries. The biggest problem I see is people not appropriately easing into them. You can't just run a 5k barefoot without having properly prepared your feet for that kind of stress. Slowly building up the requisite foot strength will pay off in the long run (pun totally intended).


Don't worry, I'm not just going to reference a bunch of shoes without talking about the workouts they'd best be worn in. Oh no, I'll feed you, baby birds. So let's take a look at some sample workouts, the best options for footwear, and the reasoning behind each choice...

Example A
3 Rounds:
10 Burpee
10 Front Squat, 185lbs
10 Pull-ups

Shoes: Oly, Chuck, Vibram/Barefoot, Inov8/NikeFree

A workout like this can be done with any of the above options, but I'd recommend Oly shoes as a first choice. The limiting factor for most people will be the heavy front squats, so weightlifting shoes will help the most. The Inov8/NikeFree option is last because of all the choices, they are the least stable for front squats.

Example B
3 Rounds:
Run 400m
30 Double-unders
15 Box Jumps (30")

Shoes: Inov8/Nike Free, Chucks, Vibram/Barefoot

This one is kind of a three-way tie. Any of the above options is acceptable, provided your feet are adapted and prepared for this kind of stress. It's a lot of running and jumping so Vibrams or barefoot means your feet will take a beating. Oly shoes are obviously not an option as this metcon should obviously not be done while wearing something with wooden heels.

Example C
Snatch 1RM

Shoes: Oly, Chucks, Inov8/NikeFree

For the Olympic lifts, the first choice is obvious. If you don't have weightlifting shoes, Chucks will probably be your next best option. Failing that, go with Inov8's or Nike Free's. Try to avoid O-lifting barefoot or in Vibrams. Depending on one's technique, the feet can strike the ground with a lot of impact. You're better off with some shoe rather than no shoe, even if only for a slightly elevated heel.

Example D
Deadlift 1RM

Shoes: Vibram/Barefoot, Chucks

We want our heels as close to the ground as possible when deadlifting heavy loads, so an elevated heel of any kind will not do us any favors. Staying back on our heels allows us to keep the bar close and helps utilize the posterior chain more effectively.

Again, please note that this isn't some crusade to get you to throw out your LA Gear light-ups and buy fancy new kicks, but start thinking about how your footwear may be affecting your workouts and if some change is needed.

Another Revelation: Getting Two Birds Stoned At Once

You still working that 8-hour desk job? C'mon man, quit already. Seriously, go out like George Costanza. Your job is lame anyways. And someone probably keeps eating your sandwich out of the break room fridge.

Okay fine, if I can't make you quit, then maybe we can make your time at work more useful. As I've previously discussed here and here, that desk chair you're sitting in isn't doing your posture, performance, or health any favors. How do we combat this? Well, like Eric Cressey said, "Make a point of getting up and moving around as often as you can. The best posture is the one that is constantly changing." But here we encounter another problem: people get so ensconced in their work that they lose track of the time, lack the desire to move, or they're just plain too busy trying to look busy (I know that game). My solution? Drink water. A lot of it.


Let's face it, you're not drinking enough water. You know it and so do I. Maybe a few of you are, but generally speaking, most people live in a state of constant dehydration. Roughly 75% of Americans are dehydrated at any one time. The benefits of hydration are so often overlooked. Drinking sufficient amounts of water can enhance mental clarity, help alleviate joint pain, improve digestion and immune function, etc (more here and everywhere else on Google). Couple dehydration with poor posture and impaired mobility and we've got an individual poised to stagnate.

So how about we get two birds stoned at once? (You know what I mean)

By drinking a lot of water throughout the day, we'll have to constantly use the bathroom, which will force us to get up out of our stupid chairs, move around, stretch, and relieve our posture... and our bladders.

"Improving posture and hydrating at the same time? Surely, this must be some kind of sorcery!" I wish it were because then people could call me Jafar. It's a cheap trick, but it works - I've had to use the bathroom twice while writing this post. So get to it, people!!

Mobile, Hydrated, & Classy

Hardcore? Hardly.

The other night I was out with some friends, obviously doing everything I could to be the center of attention. At one point, I met a young lady who does CrossFit at another gym in northern Virginia. I'll refrain from naming said gym because it will add nothing to the points I'm going to make.

We began discussing the differences between our gyms and why, although living closer to Balance, she chose this other affiliate. Her reasoning: "I just think our gym is a little more hardcore than yours." Now, let me clarify: she said this in the nicest, most non-malicious way possible, but it still irked me a bit.

Look, right off the bat, I'm not going to try turning this into a dick measuring contest (I have a habit of losing those), nor will I attempt to explain why CrossFit Balance is THE MOST HARDCORE GYM ON THE PLANET because it's not. Neither are they. This isn't a discussion about who's "better" because, in the end, we're all alright. My issue here really stems from the term "hardcore" and all the connotations that come with it.

Oftentimes, I wonder if people are more interested in being perceived as badass rather than actually being badass. Of course, this all depends on how you even define "badassness" or "hardcore." And while I'm sure the definition differs for everyone, in terms of CrossFit, here are some quick guidelines:

1) Tearing your hands to the point of hamburger meat is not hardcore
2) Puking is not hardcore
3) Holding a plank for 40 minutes is not hardcore
4) Rounding your lumbar spine on a deadlift PR attempt is not hardcore (it's also not a PR)
5) Sumo deadlift high pulls are not hardcore

Your shoulders fucking hate this position.

6) Avoiding foam rolling is not hardcore
7) Being shirtless is not hardcore (doesn't mean I still won't do it)
8) Doing 45+ minute metcons everyday is not hardcore

I feel most people will agree this is all common sense. I'd like to elaborate on my last point, however; because there's confusion out there. For some reason, people assume that if a workout doesn't leave them half-dead on the floor gasping for air, it wasn't a "good" workout. Before I go any further, read this article from Whole9Life.

Did you read it? No? Well, here it is again: Beware The Lure of the Sexy Metcon. Don't worry, I'll continue after you finish it.

Done? Good. Those ridiculously long and complex workouts, we call those "Any Asshole" workouts. Because any asshole can design a workout that will make you tired. An expression I heard once: A trainer makes you tired, a coach makes you better.

And sure, we throw a couple of those in once in a while, but they by no means define our programming at CrossFit Balance. You don't always have to be lying in a pile of your own sweat to feel a sense of accomplishment. Our goal is to simultaneously build your strength and improve your metcon capacity, while refining your nutrition habits and developing your skills. Some might not see us as "hardcore" but they're usually the ones wearing board shorts, eye-black, and carrying a sandbag while shirtless for a charity 5k fun run...

Trying Too Hard To Be Hardcore.

If we absolutely had to label something fitness-related as hardcore, then Mikhail Koklyaev is decidedly so...



In the long run, it's really not important if people perceive you as hardcore. Just be consistent, be kind, be humble, and work your ass off. Everything else will fall into place after that.

The Sumo Deadlift

As many of you experienced last week, the sumo deadlift feels significantly different than the conventional deadlift. While many of the same muscles are being used, proper execution really allows us to use our glutes and hamstrings more effectively. As I've said before, weak glutes are a common affliction across the board, especially for those of us working lame-ass desk jobs.


Keys To Appropriate Set-up & Lift:
1) Feet wide. Width will obviously vary from person to person, but it should be enough to comfortably pull with our arms inside our knees.
2) Toes pointed slightly out. Again, weight on our heels.
3) Obviously, just like picking anything off the ground, keep your lower back in extension. Similarly, remeber to keep your keep your scapula retracted i.e. pinching a pencil between your shoulder blades. And to expand on this even further, think about actually pulling your lats down and back. If all of this is done properly, your entire back should be locked as one solid, straight piece.
4) Arms hanging straight down at shoulder width.
5) Head looking forward. Unlike the conventional deadlift, our torso will be in a more erect position, so we will not be in a position to hyper-extend at the cervical spine. How nerdy did that sentence just sound?
7) Be sure to keep your midline or "core" tight - this means abs, back, and obliques working in unison.
6) Once all of the above it taken care of, your breath is absolutely vital to a successful lift (this is true with all heavy lifting). This isn't just about taking a big breath in; it's about trying to fill your entire abdomen with as much air as possible.

7) When set, raise your hips until you feel tension in your hamstrings. This is important.
8) Begin by driving your feet into the ground and away from your center, utilizing that hamstring tension to begin elevating the barbell.
9) Once the bar passes above the knee, squeeze your glutes and drive your hips through to complete the lift.
10) Basically, do what Jen does...

Note her excellent glute strength and hip drive

Lastly, a big thanks to Bobby Goodfellow for his input on this post. He's strong and has a pretty epic beard, so I value his opinion. Check him out as he soon resumes his grip training at Cinderblock Hands.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Do Something Else

The other day I was working with Chris on snatches. I was hoping to have him set another PR, but wasn't too sure. He hadn't maxed since the last time we worked together and he had already done a workout in the morning. So I had him do a few drills with the barbell, a few doubles with lighter weight and then started working with singles.

His first few lifts: 110 / 132 / 154 / 164 / 174

Chris was steadily climbing and each attempt looked solid. I opted to load the bar to 184 (his previous PR), expecting him to hit it without issue.

His next lifts: 184-F3 / 174-F /154-F / 110-F2 /110

After missing 184 three separate times, I decided to drop the weight down and hopefully work back up. Unfortunately, Chris kept missing everything - for God's sake, he missed 110 twice! This was all a byproduct of mentally breaking down. He missed 184 a few times because of some technique errors - not finishing his extension, slow getting under the bar, etc. But then, frustration and over-thinking caused him to miss what should have been routine lifts. Ultimately, Chris's primary technical flaw was not fully committing to getting under the bar, so I moved him to some snatch balances. After slowly building up weight, he did the following:

204lbs

See, I knew anymore snatch attempts would have done more harm than good. So rather than have Chris get more upset and more mentally shaken, I opted to completely switch exercises and have him address the problem at hand. The result left him with a new snatch balance PR. Sure, he was still pissed about failing all those snatches, but he now knows he can receive 200lbs overhead.

The point I'm trying to make is that if something's not working, adjust your strategy accordingly. There's no use in beating yourself up with failed attempts - it's both physically taxing and mentally frustrating. Adapt to thrive.